Should I Stay or Should I Go?
By Lyn Kleinbach-Reilly, Founder, The Kleinbach Group
After 35 years in recruiting, I’m hearing this question differently.
It sounds simple. It isn’t. And right now, I think it may be one of the hardest career questions people are trying to answer.
We’re heading toward the last part of the year. This is usually when people start looking ahead. Do I want to be sitting in this same chair next year? Do I still believe in this company? Am I learning anything? Am I happy? Is it time?
What makes this year different is that people are asking those questions in a job market they don’t completely trust.
Gallup reports that 52% of U.S. employees are either actively looking for another job or watching for opportunities. At the same time, only 28% believe this is a good time to find a quality job.
Think about that for a minute. Half the workforce has at least one eye on the door, but most don’t feel particularly good about what might be on the other side.
That is exactly what I’m hearing every day.
I talk to executives who have survived two or three rounds of layoffs and are wondering whether the next one will have their name on it. I talk to people who have given 15 or 20 years to a company and are beginning to wonder whether that loyalty means what they thought it meant. I talk to people making great money who are absolutely miserable. And I talk to people who know in their gut that it’s probably time to leave, but this market scares them.
I understand all of it.
Thirty-five years ago, if someone asked me whether they should leave a job, I probably started talking about the next opportunity. What’s the title? What’s the money? Where can you grow? What does the next company offer that this one doesn’t?
I don’t start there anymore.
I listen to how someone talks about themselves. That tells me a lot.
There are hard years at good companies. There are difficult bosses. There are disappointments. There are times when staying and working through something is absolutely the right decision.
And sometimes people simply cannot leave. They have mortgages. Kids. Health insurance. College tuition. Parents they’re caring for. Real life gets a vote. That is why I have never been a fan of people casually telling someone else, “Just quit.” It’s easy to say when it isn’t your paycheck.
But I’ve also watched people stay too long.
That happens all the time. They stay because they’ve already given the company 15 years. They stay because they make too much money to imagine starting somewhere else. They stay because they keep hoping things will go back to the way they were. They stay because starting over at 50 or 55 is scary.
And sometimes they stay because they have slowly stopped believing anyone else would want them.
That one bothers me.
Because I’ve watched what the right work can do for someone. A great job can stretch you. It can give you confidence. It can put you around people who make you better. It can remind you what you’re capable of. It can give you work you’re genuinely proud to do.
The wrong place can do something too. It can slowly make you forget all of that.
And that’s why, after all these years, I don’t think “Should I stay or should I go?” is actually the best question.
I want to know why you’re staying.
Are you still learning? Do you respect the people you work with? Are you proud of the work? Do you still have something to give there? Are you staying because you want to be there? Or are you staying because you’re afraid to leave?
Those answers tell me far more than a salary or a title ever will.
I would never tell someone to walk away from a career because they had a bad month. And I wouldn’t tell someone to stay because leaving feels scary. That decision belongs to them.
My job as a recruiter has always been to listen long enough and ask enough questions that maybe they can hear their own answer a little more clearly.
Because the best career decisions I’ve seen over 35 years were rarely about chasing the biggest offer. They were about knowing yourself well enough to recognize where you could do your best work.
So if you’re sitting there right now wondering whether you can do another year, don’t start with your resume.
Start with yourself.
And maybe don’t ask, “Should I stay or should I go?”
Ask:
Who am I becoming if I stay?
I think the answer will tell you a lot.